My Top Ten Books of all time (be warned this will be very long)

Here it is, the blog all three of you have been waiting for (I know that only Katie, Chris and mom read this anymore), my top ten books of all time. I've actually had to split this into my top ten books and later on, I'll post my top Inspirational (or Christian-ish) books - be forewarned that Joel Osteen appears at the top of all of my lists now! Anyhoo, enough rambling, let's get this started:

10) Orthodoxy by G.K. Chesterton
Anyone who says that Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis is the best work of Christian Apologetics has clearly not read Chesterton's Orthodoxy. In my opinion, this book surpasses MC by leaps and bounds, with his uncanny wit, wonderful logic, and some of the best illustrations (you can change the color of the world to your favorite color even if you only paint a single blade of grass at a time, but you can never change it if you keep changing your favorite color - well, he puts it a lot more eloquently, but I think you get the point). Also, Chesterton influenced many authors including being an inspiration for both Lewis and Tolkien (among other on this list later on) and the only reason this book is not higher on this list is beause I put it so high on my other list (as you will see soon enough)... wait, why should I have ot make excuses to you, it's my list! This book is incredible, and is the only non-fiction book in my list, which should be saying a lot. That, added to being the oldest book on my list gives it a solid 10 (which is really saying that I wanted it higher, but needed space for other books).

9) Castle Roogna (Xanth series) by Piers Anthony
My first real love of fantasy came from this book, and consequently the entire Xanth series. A little background on Xanth - Xanth is a fantasy realm that looks (curiously enough) just like Florida, and can be accessed by many ways from this world, which is referred to as Mundania in Xanth. Within Xanth, every person is born with a magical talent ranging from the boring (making colored spot appear) to the truly terrific (impervious to magic attacks). The hero of this particular novel is Dor, the heir to the throne, due to his useful talent - talking to inanimate objects. In order to prepare him for his role as king, Dor is sent on an adventure in the past, wherein he befriends a spider, learns how his current nanny became a ghost, and the origin of the zombie king, which truly began my love for the whole punny world of Xanth, which would later grow into a love for the satire of Discworld, but we'll talk about that later. Anyway, this book is not only my first Xanth, but also my favorite (followed closely by Night Mare). I should probably explain now that this is my first entry that is a series, but a lot of the books I love are series, so I will only really discuss my favorite of each series, but let it be known that the rank acutally encompasses the entire series. So Xanth, my gateway to fantasy sits here at number 9, and I encourage you to grab a copy of one of the earlier books (they're the best) and enjoy.

8) Heir to the Empire trilogy (Star Wars series) by Timothy Zahn
What?! You mean the adventures of Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie didn't end with Return of the Jedi?! Well, yeah they did, at least to the purist, but the Star Wars books have made a huge dent in my wallet, shelf space, and time, and not just because it's Star Wars (although that's a huge contributing factor), no these are good books - yes some are far better than others, but they are written by fans who care about the characters and allow them to grow. I mean, how else would you learn about Han and Leia's wedding, their three kids, or even the death of Chewbacca? Only through these books (which by the way, George Lucas endorses each one before it can be published - or so they say), anyway, this trilogy is heads and shoulders above the rest, introducing the awesome baddie Grand Admiral Thrawn and the Dark Jedi Mara Jade (who later marries Luke), aside from these there is a clone of Luke (cleverly named Luuke), another huge death machine, and great space and lightsaber battles. This trilogy is what really jumpstarted the Star Wars novels and (in my opinion) helped to bring in enough fans for Lucas to make his new trilogy of films, which was made all worth it with the Clone Wars cartoon series and the wonderful Episode 3, and if that isn't reason enough to pick up these books, then you don't need to be reading anyway.

7) Mossflower (Redwall series) by Brian Jacques (pronounced Jakes)
The second installment of the beloved Redwall series (beloved by me because I've been reading them since I was about 8 years old) is my personal favorite because it gives the story of Martin the warrior and his entrance into Mossflower country, the forging of his legendary blade and the beginnings of Redwall Abbey. For those who don't know about Redwall, it is a series of books centered around the abbey which is inhabited by a number of woodland creatures (moles, mice, squirrels, etc. - a la Watership Down), basically each book is an episode of the life of the abbey and the difficulties it faces over the years. As I mentioned above, this particular novel is my favorite because it gives so much of the backstory for future novels. It also has my favorite villain of the series (you can see a trend between this and the previous entry - villains really make the story) - Tsarmina Greeneyes the wildcat. Add to her Gonff the prince of mousethieves and Dinny, the greatest mole ever makes this the top of my Redwall series... "Salamandastron look out here we come!"

6) Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons
My favorite graphic novel of all time. This is one book that everyone should be required to read at some point in their schooling, if not life. It's a great super hero-ish drama, that turns into a great mystery/parable/pirate substory/all around great tale. Dave Gibbons' art is perfect for the book, and since it is a graphic novel, that counts for quite a lot. Just as in the other entries, the "villain" (if that's what you want to call him) is one of the best of all time, although the name can't be revealed here, let's just say that it makes for a spectacular ending. The protagonist, Rorschach (some would call him hero - but I'll let you decide when you read) is utterly insane, and yet deeply committed to his cause, so much so that he abandons his entire life to the pursuit and capture (and at times, killing) of criminals. There is so much to say about this novel, but not until you've read it, so pick it up and drop me a line when you finish.

5) Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
One of the funniest books I've ever read, and definitely the funniest book about the Apocalypse. I mean, what other book has an order of chattering satanic nuns, an angel and demon who are best buddies, an Antichrist who just wants to play with his dog and friends, and four bikers who desperately want to join the Four Horsmen (or Riders) of the Apocalypse on their final ride? These are just a few of the wonderful characters and situations in this book, which is so good that when I first began to read it, I knew that it would become one of my favorites. It also doesn't hurt that it was dedicated to G.K. Chesterton because "he knew what was going on." The two authors are among my favorites of all time, and although Neil Gaiman's Sandman series didn't quite make this list, be assured that you will be seeing Terry Pratchett soon enough. So, for those who love the comedy of Douglas Adams and also love the end-times drama of Left Behind (oh man, I almost wrote that whole sentence with a straight face), this is definitely one for you.

NOTE: The next four entries fluctuate places at times, but I think that these are their overall places.

4) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire... no wait, the Half Blood Prince... no the Prisoner of Azkaban... naw, the entire series by J.K. Rowling
I have to choose this series because it is what first encouraged me (and millions of others) to begin dabbling in the occult and offering human sacrifices to my lord Satan... oh wait, that's for another post. Really, what makes this series so great is the entire wizarding world. Rowling does such a great job combining the wizarding world, giving it just enough similarities, and yet creating such fantastical differenes that make these such fun reads. I mean, if the number of fans is any indication to how good a book is (I mean look at Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen... wait, bad example ummmm look at the Left Behin..... nevermind, forget this entire example). Okay, instead of thinking of the number of books sold (which is astounding, mind you) let's just look at the writing - Harry has believably matured from a naive 11 year old boy to a 16 year old cynical, moody, teenager (complete with hormones) and not only that, but Rowling is even willing to kill off beloved characters (including more dying in the upcoming final installment) for the sake of the story (some authors tend to let characters live too long past their purpose and they go on without any sort of growth or meaning to the book), anyway enough has been said about HP by me and thousands of others so if you haven't read them yet, it's your own dang fault.

3) The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien (The Hobbit included)
More than likely, the only book that would have been published on this list if it wasn't for LOTR is Orthodoxy. Tolkien's masterpiece made sci-fi/fantasy sections in bookstores possible (or at least in the size they are now). As many have noted, and I am one to highly agree, Tolkien is the author of the 20th Century, the amount of information that he came up with to create not just these books, but an entire world full of history, cultures, and even languages. Anyone who has read (or even tried to read - it took me about 5 times to get all the way through) The Silmarillion knows exactly how much Tolkien has put into these books. This is also the only series that I can actually count as one book, because that is indeed how it was meant to be published and read. I'm not going to get into the story because unless you are living in a cave reading this with Wi-Fi (and even then), you should know the story, whether the Peter Jackson version, the Bakshi/Rankin-Bass versions, or the one and only best version, these books. Do yourself a favor and read or re-read 'em, period.

2) Night Watch (Discworld series) by Terry Pratchett
Two words: Sam Vimes. If that doesn't strike either fear or awe in you, you are missing out on quite possible my favorite fictional character of all time. He is the Commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch, and is a copper through and through, he lives to enfoce the law of A-M up to even having to arrest the Patrician (like the President). There is no way I can explain Discworld in the amount of space that you would read (and in face, I'm extremely proud of you for making it this far), so therefore let me just say that the Discworld series is deliciously satirical and leaves you grinning as you turn every page. Night Watch is so spectaculare for three main reasons (aside from being completely focused on Sam Vimes - who truly makes any page he enters): time paradoxes, a huge battle, and one of the most touching endings in the entire series, which nearly had me in tears. I don't know how to put into word how truly great this story and series are, but I can tell you that I'm completely addicted to Pratchett's books (I'm reading Soul Music right now, in fact). So, if you like humor, or fantasy (really, it helps if you like both), Discworld takes the cake.

(drumroll)

1) The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (a trilogy in five parts) by Douglas Adams
Where Pratchett took satire and brought it to fantasy, Douglas Adams took it to science fiction and made it side-splittingly hilarious. Originally, it came out as a BBC radio series in the late '70s (and if you can find them to listen to, I highly encourage that you do), Adams later released the radio show as a book, and then two books, and on until book five (there might have been more had he not passed away). Anyway, each incarnation of the Guide story (radio, books, TV, and movie) has the same characters and beginning storyline, but they each branch out in wacky ways, and my favorite remains the books (with the radio drama in a close second). I'm trying to decide how best to describe the story (which begins with the destruction of Earth), but I realized that only those who truly knew where their towel is, and know what 42 truly means, would understand. The only advice I can really give is the same as all my other entries - READ IT!! If you read thsi book and decide that you don't like it, we can't be friends anymore, that's just the way I roll, sorry. So, read it and enjoy.

Well, for those of you who just skipped all the explanations and got here - shame on you, and for those of you who read every word - I love you. Before I go, I must give a shout out to my Honorable Mentions which are: Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton (great movie, incredible book), the Sandman series by Neil Gaiman (wonderful writing, beautiful art), and the Ultimate Spider-Man series by Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Bagley (a great re-envisioning of the Spider-Man story for more modern times). There, I'm done, it's taken me three days to write this whole thing, so I hope you like it. My top Christian books will be up at a later date (although I don't know if it will be a full 10 like this one). Godspeed.