Call us geniuses, but only if you must

So, Chris Wiley and I are complete dorks. Not only did we have an argument about Ninja Turtles, but we invented a fifth turtle. Just as he placed it into his blog for posterity, I thought that ya'll might like to see it, it is quite hilarious. (My words are in blue, chris' are in red).
NateDawg403: so, what colour slap bracelet did you get?
wileycoyote1313: green, duh...only the greatest color in the world
NateDawg403: whateva, i got purple
wileycoyote1313: well...that is the color of donatello...so i cannot fault you
NateDawg403: eff donatello, Leonardo was the greatest
wileycoyote1313: ah, HELL NO! Bo Staff has the better reach and focuses on both non-lethal and lethal attacks making Donatello not only smarter but more humanitarian. Leo had to be extra careful with his freakin' swords because he couldn't just tap someone on the head...he'd split their skull. Brains over Barbarianism anyday!
NateDawg403: did you just say brains over barbarianism??????? the sword is the most delicate of all weapons available, only the most skilled can use one as effectively as a ninja, and because Leo was against killing people anyways (he was a hippie vegetarian) he was amazingly apt with his blades and never killed a single enemy
wileycoyote1313: yeah, that's what they want you to believe. But behind the scenes there was Titian the fifth turtle. Unfortunately during a training bout (infused by a little envy as Titian was the original leader), Leo cut straight through Titian's half-shell slaying his brother-in-arms on the spot. Splinter immediately commanded that Leo's swords be blunted, and fearing another bout of envy Splinter put Leo in charge to appease his ego. Damn you Leo! Titian did not deserve to die!!!
NateDawg403: that Titian story is overrated, everyone knows that he taunted Leo constantly and poisoned Leo's blades without his knowing and then pressed the blade into his own soft part of his shell and with his dying words blamed it on the poor innocent Leo
wileycoyote1313: THAT'S A LIE! TITIAN WAS A SAINT!!! Leo spread those lies to cover his ass. Unfortunately, Leo became too popular before the truth came out and now everyone believes his damn cover story. One day the truth will be revealed and Titian shall be avenged. Mark my words, Leonardo will die.
NateDawg403: TITIAN was an Adulterous bastard!!!!!!! he claimed to be in a loving relationship with donatello (the ethics of that will not be discussed here), but he consistently cheated on him with April, and therefore his word is impossible to trust, I just dont believe a word of what that traitorous turtle ever said! Leo was the one and only saint of the turtles, Donatello had his intellectualis and ego, everyone knows the habits of mikey and his "partying" and raph had the anger.... we wont even get into splinters problems
wileycoyote1313: HOW DARE YOU! It was Leonardo's constant biting remarks toward Titian and Donatello's relationship that lead Titian to feel the need to prove himself as a man...er...turtle. And it was Leo who suggested April to cheat on. Leo caused the rift between Titian and Donatello and constantly uses their "improper" relationship to exert control over poor Donnie. I have nothing more to say to you...I am too upset. Good day, my friend...if I can even call you that anymore!!!
For those of you still reading, I hope you got a chuckle out of this because it made me laugh all day long. I thank you, Chris for a great conversation! I'll put up another post this weekend discussing the amazing-ness of the new Star Wars soundtrack!
Godspeed